"Any Man Of Mine"

By "FrolloFreak"

Hey there friends and sister Frollophiles!
The following parody featuring His Most Sexiness is to the tune of Shania Twain's "Any Man of Mine". My apologies to Ms. Twain and that "other" parodist, Cledus "T" Judd (no relation)


Do I love Claude Frollo? Wrote a song about him and here it goes...

If Claude was mine he'd be proud of me
and if I make him mad he's still gonna love me
And if he's late for a date that's fine
'cause when he makes up, I don't mind.
If Claude was mine I'd say "it's all right"
if his black velvet pants fit a little too tight
And I always love how he gets his way
and he never has a bad hair day.
How he get me wired
When he sings "Hellfire"
I often wonder why? why?
Why is the man so doggone fine?

If Claude was mine
I'd think I'd lose my mind
I would tease him, squeeze him, please him all the time.
And if he only knew all the things I'd do
He'd say I'm the breathtakin', earthquakin', soul-shakin', lovemakin' kind
If Claude was mine.

If Claude was mine he'd have to agree
that no one makes cornbread better than me.
Fried chicken and beans and sweet tea too
And he'd say "mmm...but not as sweet as you."
Now it makes me wonder
Whose bed his boots have been under.
And I always pray, pray, pray
Maybe mine someday!

If Claude was mine
I'd go slap-blind.
And I would tease him, squeeze him, please him all the time.
And if he only knew, all the things I'd do.
He'd say I'm the breathtakin', earthquakin', soulshakin', lovemakin' kind.
If Claude, If Claude, If Claude....

If Claude was mine
I'd think I'd lose my mind.
I love his deep voice, big smile,
and his cute round butt.
And if he only knew, all the things I'd do,
He'd say I'm the breathtakin', earthquakin', soulshakin', lovemakin' kind.
If Claude was mine.

(Spoken):
Oh if Claude Frollo was mine!
Ya'll don't know what he does to me when he's on my TV screen.
I'd love to see his picture in a magazine
"Cosmo" if you know what I mean.

Hey Claude! If I was yours and you were mine
Would you build me a castle in South Carolina?

Two, four, six, eight, nine
Oh how I wish Claude was mine!

It's what this woman wants.

Copyright FrolloFreak, August 1997.


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